Summary: They couldn't make me believe it. Not the way I wanted.
Notes: Sequel to Shortcut and Detour.
Unbeta'ed, or what happens when I'm having a bad day and am desperate to get something done. Warnings for D/s (this is me, are you actually surprised?)
He stroked a finger down Tony's cheek, down his throat and his arm, circling his wrist. "You'll have to wear long sleeves tomorrow," he said quietly. The cuff marks were fading, but they weren't gone yet.
"I know." Tony didn't seem too concerned. "At least it's fall."
"Don't let Abby see your wrists," Gibbs cautioned him. "She'll know what--"
"I know, Boss." Tony smiled. "It's not like I've never hidden it before."
Gibbs remembered the way Tony had looked at the belt, that first night, the way he'd rubbed the marks on his wrists absently as if trying to feel them again. Out of curiosity, he propped himself up on an elbow and took Tony's wrist, squeezing tight.
He wasn't surprised to hear Tony's gasp. "Fuck," he whispered. "Boss..."
Gibbs smiled and let go, pushing himself into a sitting position. He leaned back against the headboard, tugging the comforter up around his waist. "How often have you hidden it?" he asked, keeping it casual.
Tony sat up Indian-style. "I don't know. Maybe..." He shrugged. "One out of three? It depends, you know?"
"With men? Or women?"
"About equal." Tony grinned. "I'm an equal-opportunity sub."
"But not a careful one, if the clubs were any indication of your sex life," Gibbs said quietly. "How far did you go, Tony?"
"Nothing I couldn't handle." Tony met his gaze evenly. "And as far as I could."
"Why?" He wasn't sure if he was asking why Tony had done it, or why he'd pushed himself so far. But he wanted to know both.
Tony sighed, looking down at his hands. He rubbed the faint red lines around his wrists absently. "Two days and they still haven't faded completely," he commented. "Either you locked them tight or I fought them hard."
"I didn't lock them that tight. No more than I'd cuff a perp--probably less." Gibbs waited, knowing Tony wasn't done yet.
"Yeah." Tony sighed again. He was quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Finally, he looked up and leaned back on his hands. "When I was in college, I had this girlfriend. Lisa. She was...she was amazing. A cheerleader, honors student, beautiful..." He smiled a little wistfully. "We were the golden couple. We dated seriously for most of my junior and senior year. But...well, all good things must come to an end somehow, for whatever reason. And..." He shrugged. "This was ours."
"Lisa...well, she was adventurous in bed. She'd try anything." Tony's grin flashed in the soft light of the bedroom. "She introduced me to more things...including this. But it wasn't hard-core, you know? Soft stuff. Scarves, blindfolds maybe...she was the whipped cream and cherries kind of girl. And I liked that as much as she did. But something--something just clicked inside me the first time she bound my wrists with one of my own ties."
He ran a hand over his face. "I tried to pretend I didn't want it, you know? I was this BMOC. Jock, frat boy, my grades were pretty good...what guy in their right mind was going to admit he liked being tied up by his girlfriend? I'd have been laughed out of Alpha Chi Delta. So I didn't. But every time we played like that, every time she took control, I wanted it more. And she saw it. She saw that I wanted more than what we had, and she didn't want that. So she told me to find someone who could give me what I wanted, and to be happy, and we parted on as good terms as we could, given the circumstances."
Tony exhaled deeply. "That was four months before commencement. I didn't bother doing anything else until I'd left and gone to Illinois. And I met this woman there, and she was willing--she wanted, really--to go farther than Lisa had. She'd played. So..." Tony lifted his hands and let them drop into his lap. "I've gone back and forth. Sometimes I don't need the games, or want them. Sometimes vanilla's fine. But every time I play, I want more. It's never enough. So I try not to, because one of these days..."
"You'll get yourself into something you can't handle," Gibbs finished.
"Yeah. I mean--that's part of the thrill, you know? That edge of danger, the knowledge that I'm letting someone I barely know tie me up and fuck me and hurt me, that he might not respect my safeword if I need it." Tony smiled faintly. "What can I say? I'm an adrenalin junkie."
"Is that why you like the metal cuffs? Because you can see it?"
"It hurts more. It makes me feel it more. I can feel it afterwards. Same reason I'd rather get whipped than flogged. The whip leaves a harder mark." Tony looked down, flushing a little.
Gibbs thought briefly of the black whip coiled in his drawer, of the various toys he kept locked away. He was willing to bet Tony had no idea just how far he'd gone--or would go.
He was looking forward to educating him.
"What do you like more, Tony? Pain or control? Does it matter?"
"God. I don't know." Tony fell over backwards, stretching out his legs. "Why do you care?"
Finally, the question. Gibbs smiled. "Because I can't take you as far as you need if I don't know which way you want to go."
Tony bolted upright. "What?"
"I said no more clubs, Tony. No more back rooms. If you're going to play from now on, you do it with me." Gibbs took Tony's wrist, his thumb over Tony's pulse. "And if you think I can't take you that far..." He tightened his grip. "You have no idea," he said softly.
Tony shuddered. "I...Gibbs, I..."
"What's your safeword, Tony?"
It took Tony a moment to answer. He licked his lips, swallowing. "Peppermint," he whispered.
Somehow, Gibbs wasn't surprised. "Tell me something," he said quietly. "How long did you ever stay with someone before? How long before you moved on?"
"Not--not long." Tony swallowed. "A few times, maybe. Generally...I usually knew pretty soon that it wasn't going to work."
Gibbs nodded. "Because they couldn't give you what you wanted? Or because they weren't me?"
"Oh, God, Gibbs." Tony flushed red. "Can't I just say it didn't work out?"
"No." Gibbs pressed his thumb into Tony's skin, feeling the pulse quicken under his touch. "If I ask you a question, Tony, I want an honest answer. Understand?"
Tony tried half-heartedly to pull away, but Gibbs didn't let him. "Tell me," Gibbs said again. "What did you want that they couldn't give you?" He was almost certain he knew. But Tony had to be the one to say it.
"They couldn't...it wasn't hard enough. None of them were willing to go far enough. Not the pain, not the way they tied me, but..." Tony tried again to pull away. "They couldn't make me believe it," he whispered. "Not the way I wanted."
"What do you want, Tony? Do you want it to be real?" Gibbs stroked his thumb over Tony's wrist. He was careful not to let anything show on his face; he didn't want Tony to get any cues from him.
"God. I." Tony groaned and fell silent.
"Yes," Tony whispered helplessly.
Gibbs rolled him over in one smooth movement, pinning him down against the bed. "Mine," he growled softly, holding Tony's wrists over his head. "You belong to me now."
"Oh God," Tony whispered.
He kissed Tony hard, drinking in his moans, the way Tony arched under him. "I'll take you as far as you can go," he murmured against Tony's mouth. "I'll bring you down so hard you won't know anything but me. Nothing else, Tony.You need something, you want something, you come to me. Understand?"
"Yes," Tony breathed, his eyes falling closed. "Yes..."
Gibbs released him abruptly and knelt up. "Turn over," he said shortly.
He didn't intend to be easy on Tony. For one thing, Tony was experienced enough--and played hard enough--that he'd only resent it. For another, Gibbs wanted to make sure Tony knew the rules.
Tony settled himself on his hands and knees, waiting. Gibbs ran a hand down his back and slid out of bed. He was looking for--ah. There they were, in the box in his dresser. He took out the leather cuffs and the cord to connect them and crossed back to the bed. "Give me your right hand," he said quietly. When Tony stretched his arm back, Gibbs locked the cuff around it. He didn't ask for the other wrist; he just pulled Tony's arm back, sending him falling forward onto his chest with a grunt.
The cord was long enough that it wouldn't put too much strain on his shoulders, but short enough that his wrists were held securely behind his back. Gibbs nodded in approval, once. "Spread your legs more," he told Tony. "Mm. Better." He reached under Tony's body, fondling his balls gently, and smiled at the stifled gasp he heard.
"How much can you take, Tony?" he asked. "How much can you handle?"
"Almost--" Tony swallowed. "Just about anything short of bloodplay or breathplay," he admitted quietly.
"What's your comfort zone?"
"About the same," Tony said wryly.
It didn't surprise him. Tony wasn't much of a moderate--it was usually all or nothing, with him. Gibbs ran a finger down his back, pressing down just above his cleft. "Pain or control? Do you get off on humiliation? Talk to me, Tony. Tell me what you need."
"All of it," Tony managed. "When I--" He swallowed again. "In the clubs," he said carefully, "I'd do anything. Be anyone they wanted. If they got off on humiliating me, so did I. If they wanted to hurt me, I wanted to be hurt. Anything. I didn't care. And now--I'll take it all. I just--" He stopped; Gibbs saw the flush in his cheeks. "I want to know I'm not in control," he whispered. "I want to know--I want to feel it. I want the marks, so I can remember. I want the cuffs, the restraints, so I know I can't move, that you're in control of me."
"I don't need the toys to make you know that," Gibbs said evenly. He saw Tony's shudder and smiled. Slowly, teasingly, he let his finger slide between Tony's cheeks, pressing against his hole, not pushing inside. "But I'll probably use them. For now, at least. You look too pretty in the cuffs for me to leave them off."
He dropped his hand and leaned forward, biting Tony's earlobe. "Pretty boy," he whispered. "My pretty boy."
"Don't--please, anything but that," Tony said, shaking his head. "Anything--just not--"
"Is that what they called you?" Gibbs asked quietly.
Tony nodded. "And I don't want to remember that now."
"No." Gibbs kissed his temple. "I don't want you to remember any of it. Not now." He stroked Tony's hair back. "Mine," he murmured. "All mine."
Tony sighed, relaxing a little. "Yours," he breathed.
Gibbs kissed his throat. "My boy," he said softly.
He straightened up and let his hand trail over Tony's ass lightly before bringing it down with a hard smack. Tony gasped, twisting a little under the blow. Again, on the other cheek, and Tony made a short, sharp sound.
"There's something about being spanked by your Dom's bare hand, isn't there?" Gibbs asked him matter-of-factly. "It's humiliating and it's erotic as hell and if you're the kind of boy I think you are, you love it more than most of those toys. It's that connection, isn't it? That skin on skin feel? It stings and it burns and you can't stop yourself from pushing back into it."
Tony whimpered into the pillows.
"I want to hear you," Gibbs told him. "I want to see you. You're my boy now, Tony, and I don't want you to hide from me."
He brought his hand down again and again, the blows hard and fast and stinging his hand as well as Tony's ass. Tony moaned, squirming under Gibbs' hand, writhing against the spanking. "Please," he begged, his voice raspy. "More, please..."
A couple of blows to the sensitive line between thighs and ass had Tony crying out in mingled pain and pleasure. Gibbs smiled and scraped his nails along the skin, just to hear Tony whimper.
Tony's skin was pink and red now, the handprints fading into deep color. Gibbs rubbed his hand over it, letting the heat sink in. "Good," he said quietly. "Good boy."
He unlocked the cuffs and rubbed Tony's wrists before setting his arms on the bed. "Okay?" he murmured.
Tony just nodded, flexing his fingers. "Y-yes, sir," he managed.
"Good." Gibbs ran a hand down Tony's back. "You look good like this," he commented, amused to see the color rise in Tony's face.
He had to swallow twice before he could speak. "Thank you, sir," Tony whispered.
Gibbs smiled slightly. "On your knees, next to the bed," he instructed quietly.
Tony moved instantly, settling himself with his thighs spread and his hands clasped behind his back, chin up and eyes down. "Who taught you that?" Gibbs asked, stroking his hair gently.
"My first Mistress, sir," Tony told him.
"Good teacher." Gibbs brushed a finger over Tony's cheek. "I'm going to have to get a collar for you," he mused.
Tony swallowed, hard. "If--if you want, sir."
"Is that a problem, Tony?" he asked evenly.
"N-no, sir. I've just never had a Master who wanted to collar me before."
"You wouldn't have accepted it from them," Gibbs pointed out. "Would you?"
Tony shook his head slightly. "No, sir."
"Will you accept mine?"
He honestly wasn't sure of the answer. On the one hand, it was soon for him to push this. On the other...
"Yes, Master," Tony whispered.
Tony knew what he wanted. And so did Gibbs.
"Good boy." Gibbs stood and walked around in front of him. "Suck me off."
Tony licked his lips and leaned forward, licking the head of Gibbs' cock, sucking it into his mouth. His eyes were half-closed, his hair silky under Gibbs' fingers. His mouth was hot and wet and sucked Gibbs down eagerly, working him with skill and hunger and a bare hint of desperation. Gibbs watched him, unable to look away. Part of him was still a little stunned they'd gotten to this point. He let his hand rest on the back of Tony's neck, just to touch him, to feel him.
He almost didn't want to come. It felt too good, too right to be here like this, with Tony on his knees in front of him and his cock in Tony's mouth. But Tony was just too good, too focused, and he couldn't hold out indefinitely.
He came with a shudder and a low groan, his hand tightening on the back of Tony's neck. Tony swallowed around him, raising his head slowly.
"Good boy," Gibbs said huskily. "On the bed now. On your back."
Tony scrambled to move as fast as he could, lying down with his hands at his sides. His cock was rock-hard and there was a faint sheen of sweat on his face and chest. Gibbs crawled over him, licking his throat; Tony shuddered and gasped.
Gibbs closed his hand around Tony's cock, jerking him hard and fast, a little rough. "C'mon, Tony," he murmured, biting Tony's jaw, his collarbone. "Give it up for me. Come for me, all over my hand, all over your stomach, show me how much you want this, how much you need it from me. Show me what you'll do for this, show me how much you need it, how desperate you are..."
Tony twisted and moaned, biting his lip hard. "Master--please--Master--" He arched up into Gibbs' grip, whimpering.
"Do it," Gibbs whispered.
Tony cried out something harsh and came with a full-body shudder, warmth spilling over Gibbs' hand. He raised his hand to Tony's lips, letting Tony taste his own come, before moving away to get a washcloth. When he returned, Tony was already half-asleep.
Gibbs cleaned him off gently and tossed the washcloth in the hamper. "C'mon," he said, tugging back the covers. "Let's get some sleep."
"Mm-hmm." Tony stretched and burrowed under them, one arm lying across Gibbs' stomach. Gibbs smiled and turned off the light before settling down next to Tony.
He drew Tony close, stroking his hair. "My boy," he murmured into the darkness.