Title: Sum of All Parts
Author: rebecca
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Just relax and let it happen.
Warnings: mild D/s
Notes: They keep growing. First there was Data Set, then Truth Table, and then Syllogism. And now this. This one in particular was written for wolfshark.

Rodney had been planning something for a few days now. John knew that, he just didn't know what. It was enough to make him nervous, especially when he'd sat down opposite Rodney at lunch and muttered something about "Tonight, my quarters?" and Rodney had just smiled and shaken his head.

"Not tonight," he'd said, taking a drink of coffee. "I'm...working on something."

John had had a pretty good feeling Rodney wasn't referring to the naquada generators.

It had been four days since the last night. Four days since Rodney had blindfolded him and tied him and made him come so hard he'd seen stars. And while John was confident that it wasn't over between them, Rodney had been keeping his distance, either brushing John off or staying out of his presence unless there was a buffer around, like Teyla, or Elizabeth.

Especially Elizabeth. Erotic ideas just...disappeared around her, especially ones that included Rodney. Which was good, John reminded himself. He had to be able to focus around everyone else, without thinking about Rodney. About blindfolds and fabric restraints, about Rodney holding him down, about...

John groaned and went to see if Teyla was willing to spar with him.

She was, and they did, and it wasn't until dinnertime that John had time or energy to think about Rodney again. Even then, it was more of a low-level curiosity than rising panic. It wasn't over; John knew that much. He just had no idea what it was.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't even realize it when a shadow fell over his tray, until Rodney sat down opposite him and cleared his throat. "I realize that determining the actual substance of what they feed us may sometimes be difficult, but you're military. I figured you knew better than to ask."

"This from the man who likes MREs," John countered, looking up and raising an eyebrow.

Rodney shrugged. "We all prefer different things." And if he was talking about food John would eat his boot. "My quarters tonight," Rodney said. "Nine okay?"

Instinctively, John looked around, but no one was paying attention to them and Rodney's voice had been quiet anyway. "Yeah," John said, nodding. "That's fine." He exhaled deeply. "Why now? You've barely paid attention to me for four days."

"I wanted to give you some time to think things over," Rodney told him. "It was intense last time, and I wanted you to have a chance to back away from it and see how you really felt before we did anything else."

"I'm not backing down," John told him.

"I didn't think you would." Rodney smirked. "But I figured I'd give you the option." He rose, picking up his coffee cup. "Nine," he said, before walking away.

John didn't care that he'd already cleaned up after his workout; he found himself showering again, scrubbing himself as clean as he could get before he pulled on clothes and went to find Rodney. His hair was still damp when he let himself into Rodney's quarters.

Rodney stood when John walked in, that faint smirk on his face. And as always, John had no idea what it meant tonight. "Come here," Rodney said, and John walked over to him, letting Rodney's hands settle on his waist. Rodney pulled him in for a kiss, gentle, easy; his hands ran up under John's T-shirt and he broke the kiss only long enough to pull it off.

Rodney's hands were warm against his skin; his mouth tasted faintly of coffee. He kept kissing John, even as his hands ran over John's skin, unfastening his pants, pushing them down. "Undress for me," Rodney murmured against John's lips, hands sliding down John's arms. "I want to see you." He squeezed John's wrists gently and let go.

He was aware of Rodney's eyes on him the entire time he undressed, watching him, seeing him as John pulled off his boots and his socks and stepped out of his pants and his briefs. John looked up and Rodney held out a hand again, pulling John into a warm, tight embrace, kissing him slowly, coaxing the tension and the stress out of him. Rodney's arms were solid around him and Rodney's lips were soft against his, his tongue sleek in John's mouth. "How much of me can you take, John?" Rodney whispered against John's mouth.

John jerked in surprise. "Are you--are you saying what I think you're saying?" he managed.

Rodney stepped back, looking at him with an expression John couldn't read. "How much can you take, John? You mentioned it to me, remember? Do you still want to try?"

Involuntarily, John looked down at Rodney's hands. Rodney's big, capable hands, capable of fixing a puddlejumper or manipulating some piece of Ancient technology or driving him insane, all with the same sure competence.

Sometimes...I wonder sometimes how much of you I can take. John swallowed. Yeah, he'd mentioned it, but...

"It's up to you," Rodney said quietly.

John leaned in and kissed him, licking Rodney's lower lip, letting the scent, the feel of Rodney surround him. "Promise me one thing," he said, nuzzling Rodney's jaw.

"What?" Rodney purred a little, turning his head to give John better access to his throat.

"Promise me you won't avoid me for four days after this," John told him. He pulled Rodney closer, inhaling Rodney's scent--coffee and soap and something else John couldn't identify. "That's not fair."

"I wanted you to have time to decide." Rodney ran his hands into John's hair and pulled his head back, looking at him. "But I promise you, I won't avoid you. I can't, anyway--we've got a mission tomorrow, and--"

"You know what i mean." John met Rodney's eyes squarely. "Promise me, Rodney."

Rodney nodded. "I promise."

"Okay." John licked his lips a little nervously. "Okay. Yeah. How do--I mean--"

"Relax, John." Rodney kissed John's lips, then his throat. "Lie down. On your stomach."

John settled himself on the bed, closing his eyes. Rodney ran a hand down his back and John sighed a little, relaxing under his touch. "Mmm," Rodney murmured. "Just relax for me, John."

The bed dipped just a little and then John felt Rodney's hands on his shoulders, digging in, working out tension. "You've got nothing on me, of course, but you're still tight," Rodney said, sounding amused.

"I'll..." John groaned. "Return the favor sometime."

"We'll see." Rodney kept working on John's back, working his way down slowly, leaving John limp and purring on the bed. As he moved down, Rodney brushed kisses over John's back, rubbing his cheek against the skin, tracing John's spine with his tongue. John sighed and groaned and felt his bones just liquefy.

He jumped a little in surprise when Rodney's hands squeezed his ass, but it felt too good to do anything about it. Rodney kissed the small of John's back, running his hands over John's thighs. "Lift your hips," he said quietly, and John did, letting Rodney settle pillows under his hips, leaving him with his ass in the air and his legs spread. "Comfortable?" Rodney asked.

He felt a little exposed, but..."Yeah," John said, swallowing. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Mmm. Here's the thing, John. I can't read your mind. I realize that sometimes it may seem like it, but let's be realistic and admit that telepathy has never been scientifically proven among humans. So I don't know what you're thinking." Rodney ran a hand down his back, warm, reassuring. Grounding. "Which means, John, that you have to tell me. I don't want to hurt you--that's an entirely different idea that we're not going near tonight, and this isn't about pain. If it hurts, something's wrong. I need you to promise me you'll tell me if something hurts, or is even uncomfortable. If you can't promise me that, I'm not going to do this."

John rested his forehead on his crossed arms. "I promise," he said, taking a deep breath. "I promise."

"Good." Rodney kissed his shoulder.

"Someday you'll have to tell me how you know all this," John murmured against his arms.

"Someday. Not tonight." Rodney ran a hand down his back again, and then he bent and nipped John's left buttock. John jumped a little in surprise, grumbling under his breath and Rodney's laugh.

And then Rodney's hands were on his ass, spreading him open, and Rodney's tongue was oh God, right there, and he was licking John and fucking him with his tongue and John couldn't even push back into it, couldn't do anything but lie there and make these embarrassing whimpering sounds. His body felt like jello, quivering under Rodney's mouth.

John was so lost in what Rodney was doing to him that he barely even noticed when the first slick finger began pressing into him, a little at a time, until Rodney's mouth was gone and his finger was in John's ass and it felt so damn good John nearly whined.

Rodney took his time with one finger, twisting it, working it, fucking him and making John pant for breath. "Rodney," he managed, hoarsely. "Rodney, c'mon, I can take more..."

"I'm sure you can," Rodney said evenly. "Relax, John. Just relax into it. This isn't a race."

No, but if Rodney kept teasing him like this John was going to explode. Just one finger and he already felt...oh, and that was a second finger working its way into him, slipping alongside the first. John groaned, his body limp, his cock aching.

He swallowed and breathed and tried to grind against the pillows, but there wasn't enough friction to do anything. "Don't," Rodney said, resting his free hand on the back of John's neck. "Don't--just let it happen, John. Just relax and let it happen."

Rodney's touch let him calm down a bit, enough that he could breathe and let himself fall into it, his mind starting to spiral to a place where nothing else mattered. "Rodney," he whispered, suddenly afraid, but Rodney tightened his hand on John's neck and kissed his back.

"Let it happen," Rodney whispered again. "You're not in control, John. Just let it happen."

Freefall and spinning out of control and John nearly sobbed, clinging to Rodney's touch and Rodney's words as the only things he knew. Rodney was working a third finger into him now, slow and careful and sure; John moaned and turned his head, kissing Rodney's arm. "Rodney," he managed again, sighing at the feel of Rodney's fingers running through his hair.

"That's it," Rodney praised him, stroking John's hair and his neck even as his fingers twisted and scissored inside John's body, stretching him patiently. "Open up for me, John. Let me in."

Oh God...John couldn't do anything else. His body wasn't listening to him, it was listening to Rodney, who stroked his hair and his ass and coaxed it to open up, to loosen, until his muscles were like water and it didn't even hurt when Rodney's pinky slid into him. "Oh," he breathed, stunned by how this felt, how much--"Oh, God, Rodney--"

"Shh," Rodney soothed. "Breathe, John. Breathe. Is it too much? All you have to do is tell me."

God, yes, it was too much, and all John wanted was more. "No," he said thickly. "No, it's not."

"Okay." Rodney kissed his neck and then his hand was gone from John's back and John heard the sounds of lube on skin and oh God oh God--"Let me in," Rodney murmured. "Just let me in, John. Open up for me."

John whimpered, something suspiciously close to tears pricking behind his eyes. "Rodney, I--" It was too much, he couldn't do this, Rodney wanted too much, but his hand kept pressing deeper and John couldn't breathe, couldn't take it, couldn't--

"Almost," Rodney said, sounding a little breathless himself. "Almost, John, just let me in..."

Oh God, oh--John whimpered helplessly as something in his body just gave and he felt Rodney's hand slip that last bit inside him. He couldn't--

"Damnit, John, breathe," Rodney snapped at him and John gulped in air, exhaling shakily. Rodney's hand twisted inside him, making him gasp, his whole body prickling with it. He was so close, his whole body poised for something, and Rodney kept twisting his hand, moving it, rubbing over the sweet spot.

"I--Rodney, I need--" John's hands dug into the sheets and he fought to breathe, to keep from flying apart. "I--God, Rodney, please--"

"Do it," Rodney said, his voice low and taut, and Christ, his hand was inside John, his whole hand, and that voice, and John was falling to pieces, he couldn't hold on anymore. "Do it," Rodney repeated, still in that low, tight voice, and John cried out and shattered, falling apart around Rodney.

He woke to a sore ass, a clean stomach, and Rodney's arms around him, and it felt so good he closed his eyes and snuggled closer, his whole body purring. Rodney didn't say anything, just stroked his hair and held him and let him be.

"I thought...I didn't know it..." John couldn't find the words.

Rodney tipped his chin up and kissed him. "Was it too much?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know." John closed his eyes again and settled against Rodney. "I thought it was--I didn't know it was going to be like that, but if I had..." He sighed. "I don't think so."

"Okay." Rodney didn't say anything else.

"You didn't--" John said belatedly.

"You can make it up to me once you can move." Rodney dropped a kiss on the top of John's head. "Which means sleep."

One of these days, John was going to figure out when he'd started obeying Rodney automatically. Just after he woke up.
  e-mail Rebecca Home